The Mother in Law
A couple were going out for the evening.
They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the cat shoots back in the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house,
so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband
goes upstairs to chase the cat out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver,
"He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," he says,
"Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke
her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me
as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the backyard!"