"In My Next Life"

In this life I'm a woman.

In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When
you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing
but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself
stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who
are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and
wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could
definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean
business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could
deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up
growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs
and excess body fat.

Yup... gonna be a bear.