From Our Readers - 11-6-03 -

( a little something i wrote about me; my life. )

SOS (Seeker of Spirit) + Soul Food

Pre- consciousness / pre- awareness / pre- knowing; my being was seeking.
Seeking satisfaction, seeking wealth, seeking love, seeking gratification
- - - seeking all that would make me feel good in my world.

Then i experienced more; i saw it all ( or so i thought. ) As i always
suspected / sensed / felt / knew, there was more to it than what i had

And then the journey truly began. Was i Christ? Was i Buddha?
i was special? i was gifted? i was an advanced soul? i was elite?

But no, not all predictions, thoughts, intuitions came true. Not all
decisions were right. What? i really couldn’t make things happen. What? i
really didn’t know what some were thinking / feeling, at least not all of
the time!

So, i read. Many teachers, masters, gurus. Many who had experienced what
i had or something like it. And i went to conferences. Many speakers and
participants who were like me - but weren’t- not exactly.

Frustrating yet Fun.

When asked what do i do - i reply: "... I’m working on myself or i beg
your pardon."

No real ecstasy nor agony. Well, some times ecstasy, "great," but is
this the path of Jesus? And yes, sometimes agony, "wow," this can’t happen
to a Buddha.

A Light ( not the light.)

Maybe, just maybe, I’m not an answer. Maybe, just maybe I’m not a result.
Maybe, just maybe, there is not necessarily one result, one finding, one
over riding knowing. Perhaps it is in the seeking.

Is we are or are we is (what?)

Perhaps, i am no more or no less than me. Perhaps no one now or ever was
more or less than them. Perhaps the / a Christ was unique. Perhaps the / a
Buddha was unique. Perhaps Ram Dass is unique. Perhaps Rinpoche Lama
Tarchin is unique. Perhaps we are all unique.

And / If So.

Then i should try, must try, am here to try to be the best i can be.
Not necessarily more - not necessarily less. Not to be Christ like
necessarily, nor to be like Gandhi, Mother Theresa or Michael Jordan

Then, what do i seek?

Myself. i seek my soul. i seek to reside in my soul. i seek to be my soul.
My soul is my sustenance ( my soul food - aha. ) This from a Seeker of
Soul, aka an SOS !!!

richard stein